Hunger pangs are gnawing
My guts all pitter-patter
Been dieting for a week now
Yet I think I'm getting fatter
Exercising and counting calories
In my ongoing battle of the bulge
Wears my tired, old body out
And makes me want to indulge
I'm trying that new liquid diet
It's gonna work this time, I feel
Sticking to it faithfully
Drinking a glass with every meal
That exercise machine is a terror
I keep jiggling in that belt
Makes it hard to hold my potato chips
But I'll soon be slim and svelte
The treadmill is getting a work out
Nothing as boring as running in place
Sure is hard to eat a hot dog, though
As I try to keep up that pace
Midnight snacks are a "no-no"
Used to be the best part of my day
So I eat at eleven o'clock instead
To keep the twilight cravings at bay
Some folks say that dieting is hard
But my way works just fine
Why I've been trying for many years
To reduce my huge behind
I try every new fad that comes along
Ah, the diet meals I've learned to cook
Yet if the honest truth be told
Nothing's shrinking but my pocketbook
I've found a way to make it pay off
And I'm finally over the hump
Instead of dreaming about being slim
I've settled for pleasingly plump
Kathleen McCoy Eldridge
© August 2, 2011
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