In the long ago and the far away The family outhouse stood One could enter with a belly-ache And come out feeling good After eating too many green apples I always needed a distraction So there I sat just waiting The Sears™ catalog a big attraction Ah, yes, that was our paper We'd long since quit using cobs They caused us lots of rashes And snooty looks from nosy snobs One year, Daddy got creative Built a crapper with two thrones It sure did come in handy Kept us up with the family Jones Constipation was a good thing Gave us time to dream our dreams Of where we'd go and what we'd do In a reverie of plans and schemes The time would come when it was full Another privy location was shot Daddy and the boys'd dig another hole And set in down in a different spot Of course, there was a downside When Bon was in my care So little, she kept falling in But the flowers grew better there It was really Okay in warm weather But, oh, when winter came The urge was there to hold it But it ended just the same We'd open the door and run outside Too late for boots and jacket Still remembering those "good ol' days" Glad I'm now too old to hack it Just give me a modern bathroom When I'm done, I can pull a chain And go about doing my business Whether snow or sleet or rain Kathleen McCoy Eldridge© April 30, 2009 All Rights Reserved

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