Leander started smokin' cigarettes When he lived back in the hills He knew he oughta give 'em up But withdrawal gave him chills His first smoke was rolled corn silk It made his little face turn green His stomach was all tied up in knots 'Twas the sickest he'd ever been One day his mother caught him He ran, but couldn't get away She whomped him on his little behind And told him he'd better obey By the time he was in his forties He decided he'd better quit smokin' He could hardly finish a cigarette Without coughin' and almost chokin' It was really hard but he gave 'em up And Flossie looked on with pride But all the time she was spyin' on him To make sure he didn't backslide One day Leander found a cigarette In the pocket of his winter jacket He slipped outside to smoke it So Flossie wouldn't hear the racket Leander hustled out to the barn It made a good hidin' place Flossie was afraid of the rats in there 'Cause the barn was such a disgrace Before he could light the cigarette Poor Leander felt nature callin' So he hunkered on top of a holler log And hoped he could keep from fallin' His business done, he felt relief And he took a great big puff The coffin nail gave him such a high He fell backward in all that stuff The moral to this tawdry tale Don't smoke while takin' a dump You might just end up fallin' off a log And gettin' doo-doo on your rump Kathleen McCoy EldridgeŠ May 1, 2006 All Rights Reserved Share This Page


"Greenback Dollar"
Sequenced by Gloria Canfield