Very early on Saturday morning I got dressed and headed for the beach Then settled down for a day of fun All my snacks set out within reach I thought I looked good in my bathing suit And everything seemed to be going swell When a snot-nosed kid pointing at me Said, "Hey, Ma, look at that whale!" I'm the first to admit I've gained some weight And added quite a few pounds to my girth But it's sure no fun to be compared To the biggest mammal on earth I saw floaters, swimmers, waders and divers Decked out in goggles, tanks and flippers A woman sat under a huge beach umbrella With watchful eyes on her little nipper Minding my business, enjoying the day Eating the goodies I had bought and made Imagine my astonishment when I noticed Seven people cooling in my shade I sat there reading and sunning myself Till my whole front side started to bake So I rolled myself over onto my belly And that was when I made my mistake Falling asleep and waking up much later I had a hard time getting my breath I discovered I was covered from head to toe With sand and thought I'd met my death I started yelling and people started digging And before long, I was mostly sand free Totally embarrassed, one of the diggers said Some kids were playing with their toys on me My day at the beach was no day at the beach Seems like everything that could went wrong I'll show those snooty, beautiful people Next week, I'll wear my new thong Kathleen McCoy EldridgeŠ March 19, 2007 All Rights Reserved


"Too Fat Polka"
Sequenced by Frank Schober
Grandpa Schober's Original Midi Files