As you can see by the calendar I'm having another birthday.
I have written a song to express how I feel about this sad turn of events.
It can be sung to the tune of "King Of The Road." |
Miss Clairol's loving care
Touches up my greying hair
My midriff has a roll
I ain't got no bladder control
But....two rows of Polygrip
Never lets my dentures slip
I'm a menopausal, moody woman
Gettin' too old
Heartburn and hemorrhoids
Trouble with my adenoids
Loud snoring when I snooze
I wear orthopedic shoes
I eat...high-fiber, low-fat food
To keep my bowels movin' good
I'm a menopausal, moody woman
Gettin' too old
(Sixteen bar instrumental)
My body looks like heck
Wrinkles and a turkey neck
Old worn out birthday suit
My man don't give a hoot
I've got...loose skin and flabby thighs
Bags beneath my bloodshot eyes
I'm a menopausal, moody woman
Gettin' too old
I've got cellulite, liver spots and varicose veins
All of my joints have arthritis pain
An' every morning I have to take pills
I spend all my money just to pay for refills
I said, Miss Clairol's loving care
Touches up my greying hair
My midriff has a roll
I ain't got no bladder control
©Cheryl McCoy Pender
March 7, 2001
Used With Permission
All Rights Reserved By Author
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