I'm a mess: secrets brought out in the open, by the contents of that box, that should have been taken to the grave with my mom, and dad has changed my life forever.

It all started when I was fourteen years old, mother and I were coming home from Church late Sunday night and got hit by a drunk driver; I never got hurt, but mother did, she collapsed into a coma, and never regained conscientiousness. I was devastated; she was my best friend, I miss her so much.

As time passed by my dad turned on me, telling me I was no good, and that he wished I was the one killed in that car wreck, and said he couldn't wait for me to get out of his life. Since he was drinking at the time I just brushed it aside, thinking he didn't mean it. He spent most of his time at the casino after mom's death; we hardly saw each other anyway. He was always mad at me when he lost money, which was every time he gambled. He died of lung cancer four years after mom's death. I was one month shy of my eighteenth birthday.

I was about ten years old when Mama told me about a box she hid in our attic where she kept all her important papers. It meant little to me at the time. Then after dad died I remembered her telling me about the box so I went looking for it. I found the box, that's when I got the shock of my life. Inside the box was a sealed letter addressed to me. Tears filled my eyes as I started to read the letter; it said,

"Dear Son, If you're reading this letter its probably because I'm no longer alive, so I have some things to tell you. Your real dad died when you were a baby. He left a million dollars in an insurance policy for you, also you were so young when I married your step dad I let you believe your step dad was your real father. At the time it seamed to be the best answer, and I intended to tell you when you were a little older. He is also a money manager, so I let him manage all your money till you become eighteen, by then you should have enough to last you your whole life."

Well! So that's why my so called dad turned on me. I thought it was because he was drinking, and losing all his money. As I look back on those events now, I guess his conscious was brothering him because he was losing all of my money.

On top of all these problems, the bank-repossessed mom's house that dad had mortgaged, as though my million dollars wasn't enough to throw away. There was enough money left after paying dad's funeral expenses for me to go to Alaska for the summer and pan for gold. All my money was long gone. All I had left were bad memories and mom's box. Well it's time to move on in this life, I can't change the past so I'll start by forgiving others like God forgave me, not that I have any other choice.

I should never have opened that box.

©James Sanders
Used With Permission
All Rights Reserved By Author

Welcome To My World
Sequenced by Dick Anderson
Dick Anderson's Country Midi Guitar

Original Artwork:  Artist Unknown
(Derived from an image, included on a clipart collections cd)