Remember when you were little and people would ask you, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I think almost every time I'd respond with "I want to be a mother." And I really feel that is where I have gotten a lot of my fulfillment in life.
Being a *mother*, is one of the most precious gifts God can ever bestow on a woman, I feel. I realize there are families that choose not to have children and I am ok with that also. It is a matter of choice and, thank you Lord for allowing us choices.
I have this awful habit of wanting to care for or *Mother* almost everyone that I love and even some others.
A good example would be:
Every once in awhile when I am on Instant Messaging with my good friend and web-master, Jimmy and he tells me he has had a rough day or his back hurts, the mothering kicks in and I start telling him to slow down and get more rest....Lol-Lol-
He justs laughs at me and responds with, "Yes, MOM." Then I know I have over-stepped the boundaries and back off. Thank God, he accepts me as I am, or I,d have to learn to make my own pages in a hurry....and I sure don't have time for that right now...I am too busy *Mothering*.
Most people just laugh my *mothering* off, but I know there are others who find it down right annoying. Sometimes I come across as a know-it-all and that is the last thing I mean to happen. I am just a real helpful & giving person. I don't think I have a *self-centered* bone in my body. I am really like a child at heart. I love surprises and I am easily disappointed, but I am a very hard worker. My hubby has often kidded me and said I'd make a great foreman. I am quite the organizer. I am not afraid to designate chores, but I make sure the kids are paid well so they can buy the things that they need.
I have made Dick a *Honey-Dew* list for years and it never worked for me.....Lol-Lol-Lol.. Maybe it was because it couldn;t talk. Good thing it didn't NAG....cause I remember one time My sweet hubby told me, "You nag me about it one more time and it will never get done".....Lol-Lol-Lol. When I look back now I just laugh as my techniques have had to have some drastic renovations.
My hubby is the biggest and best procrastinator I have ever met. A councilor friend once told me, ask once nicely and if it doesn't get done, a week later, ask nicely again, and then if it doesn't get done, hire it done. I thought I heard wrong and started to laugh. I had her repeat it to be sure I heard right, and she said "well, that is the way I handle it and it works everytime. Hit them in the pocketbook". I thought I was hearing things. I replied, "Easy for you to say, If I was making the big bucks you are, I could hire it done the first time and never have to ask my hubby to do it. Lol- Lol-Lol. I believe she saw my point.
A little piece of advice for all you ladies that have a problem with a hubby that procrastinates.....This story I am writing is all from true experience. One day I asked my hubby if he COULD do something for me, and he answered in affirmative.
Therefore I thought it would get done....
Several days went by and I asked him about it and he replied, "You
asked me if I COULD do it---not if I WOULD do it! There is a difference, you know. Lol-Lol-Lol- Is that a play on words or what?
As I am writing this now, I am laughing as I have never seen a man use so many excuses to get out of something...God love him. He really, literally has taken weeks to think about how to do a fifteen minute job. He told me when I asked him if he COULD do it, I should have known he could and he really didn't know I wanted him to do it. Now how is that for the innocent act? Lol-Lol-Lol-. I remember one time, shortly after we bought this home, about 25 yrs. ago, the back yard, which is very small, was a mud pit and every time I looked at it I could visualize this really great patio, with a brick flower garden along the back of the house. I asked if we could do it together and he told me it was impossible. Everytime our dogs went out they were all dirty and you can imagine what they looked like after a rain. Well, after awhile I was exasperated and I asked my sweet hubby, "If I can get it done, and it is reasonable, is it ok with you? He said, "Sure."
Well, let me tell you two weeks later we had a beautiful patio and all it cost me was the cost of the cement. I do use the phrase, WOULD YOU now instead of COULD YOU, and it really hasn't made much difference, but it has given me a little leverage.
Do you ever feel like, as a woman, you are basically mothering most people, a lot of the time? I work a lot with professionals, and I swear, I have more common sense than many of them. There are some who I learn many things from and am very grateful to, on the other hand. I still feel, more than anything else, children need to know they are loved and they need good role models that are willing to be there to guide them.
Oh, when they get out of line, we have a very long list of rules and consequences all written out, and when they tell me "I don't remember that rule! Now, they get to write the rule list and post it in their room. That will be the last time they make that remark. Then there is the remark we hear all too often, "I'm bored". "What was that you said?" "I'm bored." "Thats great, I have some things that I need help with,"
Then I designate them a chore to do without pay. Well, that ends that remark. Am I a *MEAN* mommy or what? These techniques work, try them. There are far too many children who do not know how to interact in a family situation and have far too much free time on their hands to get into trouble.
Every mom I have ever talked to says, "I want my child to have a better beginning than I had, or, this is a really good one...."I want my child to like me." Personally, I'd want my child to RESPECT me more. I'd like the child to like me, but that is their choice, the way I see it.
Kids today think, if I whine, I will get whatever I want! WHOA! stop right there! Whatever happened to the word, NO? It is still a part of our english language. Don't be afraid to use it as often as need be.
I see children all the time in stores that whine and their mom will do one of two things. She will give them what they want to shut them up or she will smack them a good one, which is against the law. Personally, I find it easier to set the ground rules before entering the store. If a child breaks that rule we leave immediately and the next time I go, they do not go. I know this is easier said than done in some circumstances, as some families do not have the availability of a sitter. Find a neighbor you can barter with. You watch her children and she can watch yours. It can work out fine as long as neither of you take advantage of the other.
A child needs to learn rules and limits, (boundaries), at a very young age, or they will be running you in no time flat.
I really get carried away on this *MOTHERING* issue. Maybe because God really blessed me there. I hope He didn't think that was all I am good at! Lol-Lol-Lol- Maybe! Mothering is not an easy job, never has been and never will be. It is a job where there are no instant rewards or gratification, so don't look for it. It isn't there. Sometimes it literally takes years to see the fruits of your hard work, but it is well worth it.
As children are growing up, they have this awful habit of fighting you all the way. This never ends! Then they get married and have their own children and if you are one of the lucky ones they will come back and apologize for all they put you through and admit what a really big job *Mothering* is. Hopefully, you will hear how much you are loved.
I love my children with all my heart and soul, but I still say after 22 years of being a foster mom and seven of our own children, mothering is one of the hardest jobs I have ever done, but definitely the most rewarding. I love what God has given me to do and I thank Him for it often, probably not near often enough.
One last word on this *MOTHERING* business. I know you kids love to give us *STUFF* to show us how much you care, but ENOUGH already! Our home is about to burst at the seams and I don't have the heart to sell any of it at a garage sale. So, some ideas, give phone cards so we can talk more often, or send gift certificates so we can eat out more often...
This page is dedicated to anyone who has ever been a child!
Gee- that covers everyone, doesn't it? Lol-Lol-Lol-
I get pretty silly at times. I must have a lot of child left in me.
God Bless You All & Much Love